Too Much, Too Soon

Category: Janene Justifiables Published on Saturday, 25 June 2011 12:49 Written by Janene Ryan Hits: 963

Q:My Man Ray asks: She asked me to Tell me about yourself? Career path? Goals and/or working on any future endeavors? We just met and I am wondering how much should I tell and how deep should I go…

Thanks for the question, Ray. First let me begin by giving you a snippet of how we women think and why she asked those questions. I’m one so I think I qualify to give some insight.

When a woman ask a man to tell her about himself – and specifically what his goals and future endeavors are – she is trying to figure out three things. One, if you’re worth her time; No woman wants a man who is and will be beneath her. Two, if you actually have a plan for your life and if it’s being put into motion. And three, if she sees herself fitting in those plans.

It may sound old fashioned, but some (although I’m leaned toward the word most) women actually still want a man that will bring home the bacon and is able to lead the family; you know, be the head of the household – as provider and protector.

            Now, if this response seems to have the scent of the "M" word and you’re scared then please don’t be. Not all women are looking to fit men for their tuxedoes – at least not right away. However, women will size you up as a potential mate/partner/husband – potential being the operative word here – by asking questions like those. That means that she is also thinking about her own future and who could possibly fit into it.

Here’s the challenging part: It’s up to you to disclose how much personal information about yourself and how quickly. We women can be a bit pushy when we want something. But at this stage in the game she can’t expect or demand it – especially not the deep, very personal things. This is just the tip-off and you have possession of the ball. What I will advise is that you be careful what information you give and how soon you give it. Giving too much too soon may leave you in a vulnerable place, and not giving enough soon enough may leave you alone. Pace yourself. Begin with the basic things and BE HONEST. There is no need to lay out all of your life’s endeavors if she doesn’t have potential to be included in them.