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When I first heard that Beyonce song, it became my anthem! My girl B put it down! She said "Pull me into your arms, Say I'm the one you want, If you don't, you'll be alone and like a ghost I'll be gone!" How powerful! Here is the problem that I pose this evening ladies... what happens when he doesn't say your the one he wants? Do you leave? Do you stay? Do you set ultimatums and force the issue? Do you let him give you one ring and wait another 5 years for a second one?
A wise man once told me that when your man wants to marry you, he knows it and he will marry you. With that being said- what EXACTLY are we as women waiting for? Are we hoping that he will change his mind about the fact that he is not sure about us? Are we hoping that he will settle for us? Ladies, I would like us to begin to see our own value and our own worth. One mans trash is another mans treasure! In the year 2012, I would like us as women to say what we want and be prepared to move along if we are no longer comfortable. I would like us to have faith in our strength and in our character and to understand that we deserve to be Mrs_______ (fill in the blank). So often, we don't have that faith and we are the ones that settle.
OK, this is easier said than done. Lets be real, women are emotional creatures. We often don't think logically...we think emotionally. We don't want to start again...we want to work it out. But I am going to be honest with you, if your ultimate goal is to be married and his is not to be married, chances are, you will not get married. Let us try to be logical when we are dealing with this subject because the last time that I checked...the clock does not stop while we women work the "temp job" of being "wifey".
Once a woman gets to the point where she feels that she want to marry her man, she must decide if she is in love with the idea of being married or the idea of marrying the man that she is with. However we decide to answer that question, the bottom line is that if she is not engaged or she does not have a firm wedding date set...she is wasting her own valuable time.
At some point we have to stop thinking with our heart because our heart does not want to deal with one more disappointment or one more rejection. We need to use our mind because our mind is SCREAMING at us to run for the hills. We have to wait for our real husband to find us and stop waiting for someone else to settle. Trust your gut ladies. If he liked it...then he would have already put a ring on it AND set a date to put the second ring on too! Keep looking forward, your husband is looking for you.
In the words of Walt Disney:
"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths"