The first time we heard talented neo-soul artist Neyo sing his top charted single "Ms Independent" We loved it. Then it was the sexy and soulful Jamie Foxx and Neyo with the song "She Got Her Own" and we ate right into their hands. Singing and bobbing our head to these songs. But I ask the question..."What Are the Reasons Men Want an Independent Woman?"

The first time we heard talented neo-soul artist Neyo sing his top charted single "Ms Independent" We loved it. Then it was the sexy and soulful Jamie Foxx and Neyo with the song "She Got Her Own" and we ate right into their hands. Singing and bobbing our head to these songs. But I ask the question..."What Are the Reasons Men Want an Independent Woman?"

 For both sexes to be independent is not to need assistants from the opposite sex for money, food, clothes, to pay bills, and for some people maybe even sex...we not going to get into that though lol!!! So if men are looking for these types of women then I must ask..."As a man what would be your role in the life of your mate?"

                                  There's two reasons that I think that men would want a so called "Independent Woman."

 The First, He is business man, working, making money to take care of himself and looking to take his career to the next level, so he would love to have a woman with the same lifestyle and interest as he does so they can make moves together, he feels if she can take care of herself then he can surely build something with her either in the business world or at home. He knows he can depend on her to do things without him, to take care of situations that he at times cannot.

 The Second, He is the lazy and selfish man, looking for an independent woman so he can keep all his money and possessions to himself. Most likely he doesn’t want responsibility or to do anything so he looks for an independent woman in hopes she will take care of him. Pay his bills, buy clothes, cars and maybe even take care of his kids (not their kids together)!!! Recently the men that I've heard say that they want an "Independent Woman" falls into this category. They have nothing to offer in a relationship but want a woman who has this and/or who has that. They've been the men who I've seen singing the Neyo and Jamie Foxx song word for word. Like Seriously?

              In today's urban society this is really an issue; a lot of men haven’t been taught to be head of the household, raise their kids and take care of their homes leaving it to the woman to do this. This is why women tend to pride themselves in being independent because most likely they were raised in a home where the father was absent, and the mom was the breadwinner, causing them to grow up with the mentality of "I don’t need a man, I can take care of myself.” because all their lives men were absent. This is the situation for a lot of women; especially the African American woman and it shouldn't be this way.

              Can the new wave of independent women be the cause of men not being as courteous or sensitive? Quiet possibly. More and more you see men not opening doors for women, giving up their seat to a woman. I’ve seen men just sit there when a pregnant woman or a woman with kids get on a bus, or in a place where they are little to no seats, some don’t even move for the elderly.  Has being independent caused our men to not be the “MEN” that we most desperately need in society? They are suppose to be the head in their families but if there’s nothing to lead because the woman does everything on her own then they will not feel the need or feel obligated to do nothing but take care of themselves.

            There’s nothing wrong with being independent but really be aware of your reasons for being independent and the reasons your mate wants you to be. Being able to take care of yourself is something to be proud of, but when it causes you to miss out on someone or something, or putting you in the situation where you have to take care of someone else then it’s not independence…its slavery.

 Live Life,

   Tasha