Today, homosexuality is on the rise in the African American community. It’s now ok to be “Gay” more now than it was 10 years ago. When I was growing up you may have suspected someone of being gay but it was almost taboo to speak about it especially in the black church. The issue for me isn’t gay men, and the only reason for this blog is the “DL Brothas” (Down Low) who are leading heterosexual lives in front their family, friends and coworkers but having homosexual romances in other words “living a double life” with other men.

       I grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana and there’s a large gay population.  It’s common to see gay rappers and dancers and openly gay men and women in everyday life. But what is also there like many other cities are the DL population, and the individuals that are paying for this secret life…Women.

       I did a little experiment; I decided to run a test on the guys that call the chat lines, also known as “party lines.” When I called, I did what the operator wanted, followed all the guidelines as a women but my mission wasn’t to talk to the guys as a woman, but to disguise my voice (use a deeper tone) and use the women line to hit up brothas to see how many would respond to “a DL man.”  I did a simple greeting saying “I’m a DL brotha looking for other DL men to have a discreet sexual encounter with.”  I added some other bs to the greeting and sent it. I must say…the responses I received blew me away!!!! Most of the guys were very masculine not flamboyant like you may have thought. They were the thug type guys, some were saying that I could come over and get high and have fun (sex) at the same time!!!  These are the same guys I heard saying they're looking for a woman to spend time with, but messaging me a gay man imposter for SEX!!!! That’s right sex.

         That experience gave me a reality check; I was in shock, angry and sad all at the same time, not because they wanted to have sex with a man but because of the innocent women that were on that chat line and the women we see every day that have no idea that the men that are supposed to be their boyfriends, lovers and husbands could possibly be “Livin Life on the DL.” Scary isn’t it?

        Not as scary as the increasing HIV and AIDS cases among African American women. Why do you think that is? I will tell you. A lot of men tend to have more than one sex partner or have more sexual encounters in their lifetime meaning… spreading the disease to more women. Also, men that are sleeping with other men aren’t having the decency to wear a condom. They come home and lay next to their woman after sexing their homeboy “DJay” and go on with their lives like nothing ever happened.

First, He feels because if he's not on the receiving end of the ordeal than nothing’s wrong with it.

Second, He blocks it out his mind entirely; even to imagine the man he is having sex with is a woman.

Third, He thinks of the homosexual act as a form of humiliation to the guy. This action you would find in the thugs, drug dealers and men in prison. Drug dealers getting crack heads to do sexual favors to pay off debt, men in prison do this to break a new inmate down, make him his so called “bitch” and also men in prison believe what I said in the above statement…that they are really having sex with a woman!!!

        I've wondered why black men are not coming out about their sexual preference, I've heard a few reasons and the main one that seems to be an issue is the black church... but is that really true? Honestly, I don't think so especially with the growing homosexual population in the churches, they are in the choir, the usher board and sitting on the pulpit preaching. Everyone sees it but doesn't say a word so as far as that being the problem...I think not. Another is pornography. Can watching porn cause your man to start looking at strudel instead of the pie? (look i had to come up with a creative way to say the privates so dont judge me lol) This could be the case but it really doesnt matter, the only thing that matters is that women are dying and until these men are honest with themselves about who they really are, our african american women will continue to reap the consequences of the actions of these men.